What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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