my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
