Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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