I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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