i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
