two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
