how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
