My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
