Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
