Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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