Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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