I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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