I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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