How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
