He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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