She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
