It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
