got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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