About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
