Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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