I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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