just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
