Nicole vs. Life
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize