He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
