I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
