I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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