definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
