the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
that may or may not have been my penis.
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