Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
