I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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