just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
