i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
