when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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