Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
