At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
did i just pee glitter
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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