Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
