I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
