i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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