road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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