I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
whose ass print is on the piano?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I still have a little drunk in my system
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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