been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
