they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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