The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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