You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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