The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
