adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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