Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
