Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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