Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
