apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
