He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
